I am disgusted to the point of literally dry heaving at the response of Westboro Baptist Church and their leader Fred Phelps.  I have been disgusted by his actions for some time now but this week he hit an all time low. He is planning on taking his followers to picket, 9-year-old, Christina Taylor Green’s funeral this Thursday. His interview was so repulsive that I had to stop reading a couple of times and pray to God to protect me from hating this man… THAN it hit me. Fred Phelps has to stand before Christ one day and answer for his actions it is not my job to hate him for his sin. IN FACT it’s my job to love him in spite of his sin, to show the love of Christ to this lost, wretch of a man that I am so much like a part from the saving grace of Jesus Christ. So although there is pretty much no chance that Fred Phelps is going to read this. I am writing this to him.

Dear Mr. Phelps,

I pretend that I don’t understand you but unfortunately I know all too well the life of a sinner. After all, I am one. Mr. Phelps, you are breaking not only my heart and the hearts of many others here on this earth but you are breaking our Creators heart. You are masquerading around as a follower of Christ, when in fact none of your actions imitate Christ’s example here on this earth. Mr. Phelps I urge you to stop pretending. I know you are empty, I know you crave a real relationship with Christ, I know you are broken, I know that you are buried in sin but JESUS DIED FOR MEN LIKE YOU. He can redeem your sin. Please, stop parading in Christ’s name when you don’t even truly know the God that you endorse your actions under. Mr. Phelps, we are all broken people, and a few of us are actually trying to live a life that is dedicated to bringing glory to God. I would be beyond overjoyed to see you dedicate your life to the same calling after gaining an understanding of who Christ really is.  If you refuse to repent  the Bible is very clear on where you will be going. I am praying for you tonight.

-Johnna

The second part of this blog I am writing to the parents of sweet little Christina.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Green,

I have to begin by saying that I cannot even imagine the immense amount of pain and loss you are feeling. I am praying for you and your family even as I write this. Mr. and Mrs. Green, God is near the broken-hearted. Cling to our Savior in Him you will find peace and comfort that you did not know was attainable. I want to apologize for the evil that is going to ensue at your precious daughter’s funeral this Saturday. Those people do not represent the God that I know and love. In fact, Jesus would NEVER stand for what these people are saying in His name. I’m crushed to think that some people will see Fred Phelps and think that he is an accurate representation of Jesus Christ, when in fact he is the complete opposite of everything that Christ stands for. Mr. and Mrs. Green, it is my prayer that God will use your daughter’s death to bring others to know His love. I wish I could wrap my arms around you both and hold you and tell you in person of the amazing comforter we have in Christ, but I cannot. FORTUNATELY, God is there, He is with you. If you have not already, open your hearts to Him and find strength in His arms.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.

-Johnna

LASTLY:: To my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, in times like these it is easy to point fingers and to become bitter towards people who are sinning in ways that we could never imagine ourselves sinning. NEWS FLASH (this news flash is for myself as well) If you hate your brother in your heart you are a murderer in God’s eyes. Let’s respond to this horrible tragedy in a way that the world cannot understand. Let’s love the sinners, NOT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE, in no way do I condone or want to cheapen the severity of the pain and terror that both the gunman and Mr. Phelps have caused people, but instead I want to remind you that we would all be this apart from the SAVING GRACE OF JESUS CHRIST.

OUR GOD IS GREATER THAN THE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT OUR STATE IS IN LET US RISE IN HIS NAME AND PROCLAIM THAT WE WILL NOT BE SHAKEN BECAUSE WE SERVE A GOD THAT CAN HEAL ALL WOUNDS, TEAR DOWN WALLS, CREATED THE VERY EARTH THAT WE WALK ON.

another song that has nothing in particular to do with this post…. Sleeper 1972- Manchester Orchestra

HE chose me.

Why in the world God chose to save me I don’t know… what I do know is I’m beyond grateful for His love and saving grace.  I’m so rotten, like the worst of the worst, but I am redeemed by His blood for His purpose.  I am sitting behind the coffee bar trying to hold in a happy dance! I’m saved.

today’s song has nothing to do with this entry. I’m just loving me some Muse on vinyl as I write.

Falling Away with You- Muse

O God, how twisted we are.

¹²Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, ¹³and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. ¹⁴Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

Good Morning, Arizona. It is gorgeous outside. Gorgeous enough that I through on a blazer and drove with the windows down.  I have that excited feeling in my stomach because I do believe this must mean that fall is here. I’m so ready for a new season, a new season of weather, a new season in my relationship with friends, a new season in my relationship with Christ.

I’m sitting behind the coffee bar here at Sola and between barista-ing I’m writing this to you. Dear Dear Dear friends, do not lose heart. We are in this together. We stand as one unified Church.

I want to encourage you all to drink some coffee and read your bible. It’s really great.

Sincerely,

Johnna

She must and Shall Go Free- Derek Webb
Mercy speaks by Jesus’ blood
hear and sing, ye sons of God
justice satisfied indeed
Christ has full atonement made

Jesus’ blood speaks loud and sweet
here all Deity can meet
and, without a jarring voice
welcome Zion to rejoice

“all her debts were cast on me,
and she must and shall go free”

peace of conscience, peace with God
we obtain through Jesus’ blood
Jesus’ blood speaks solid rest
we believe, and we are blest

should the law against her roar
Jesus’ blood still speaks with power
“all her debts were cast on me,
and she must and shall go free”

we sit in our comfortable conversations, and try to make sense of an almighty God.

we enable each other to continue driving ourselves down into the grave.

we are selfish.

we are the product of pride.

WAKE UP.

my heart is aching tonight. I am physically shaken by the immense burden that God has placed on my heart. God is sharpening His bride. Are you in or are you out?

I’m so in love with Christ and I am so in love with His bride.

God, please save us from ourselves. We are dying and we need you to revive us. give us courage to boldly speak the truth in love.

Lord Save Me From Myself- Jon Foreman

My mind is dull and shattered

From these years of buy and sell

My mind has seen the glory

Of this hollow, modern shell

Sex is a grand production

But I’m bored with that as well

Lord save me from myself

The electric sun keeps shining

Wrapping daughters in the chrome

This world is where I breathe

Let it never be called home

Well the vultures make the money

It’s where my body fell

Lord save me from myself

The vultures make the money

But I’m bored with that as well

Lord save me from myself

Give Us Strength.

¹¹And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.

Tonight. I spent with my dear friends Jenelle and Aaron staring at the stars and downing bottles of sparkling cider at Fountain Hills. As I was laying in the grass looking up at the immensity of the universe I couldn’t help but take a deep breath and try to burn every little detail into my mind forever. Pretty soon we are all splitting up… moving to opposite sides of the country actually. Jenelle and I plan to move to Spokane in May 2011, God willing, and Aaron (and what feels like another katrillion people I love and care about) will be living in  Tennessee as of January. We are all growing up. It’s so insane to think that we are getting to the point of life that we all separate. I don’t plan to discontinue any friendships but naturally distance changes things. I am so grateful to God for bringing such beautiful people into my life.  So many great memories are wrapped up in these people. I know God is going to do so much in all of our lives and I can’t wait to see what He does, but a part of me wishes I could just beam us all to Neverland. In Neverland we could play all day and stay together forever… we wouldn’t have to grow up. I get that this is a juvenile and selfish thought… but sometimes it sounds pretty dang nice.

I am going to miss so many people, God…

…but I am so ready to go.

Click to Listen > Rebellion(Lies)- The Arcade Fire

Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is. sleeping is giving
in, so lift those heavy eyelids.
people say that you’ll die faster than without water. but we know it’s
just a lie, scare your son and scare your daughter.
people say that your dreams are the only things that save ya.
come on baby in our dreams, we can live our misbehaviour.
everytime you close your eyes lies, lies!
people try and hide the night underneath the covers.
people try and hide the light underneath the covers.
come on hide your lovers underneath the covers.
come on hide your lovers underneath the covers.
hidin’ from your brothers underneath the covers, come on hide your
lovers underneath the covers.
people say that you’ll die faster than without water, but we know it’s
just a lie, scare your son, scare your daughter
now here’s the sun, it’s alright! now here’s the moon, it’s alright!
now here’s the sun, it’s alright! now here’s the moon, it’s alright!
but everytime you close your eyes, lies!

If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather ’til I only dwell in Thee?
If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
‘Til I only dwell in Thee

If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision ’til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
‘Til I only dwell in Thee

Okay, so we all know I’m an emotional wreck 85% of the time. I’m sitting here staring at the screen feeling like I should be on my face praising my God. I have had the most insane summer of my life… and I feel like what is quickly turning into being the most insane year of my life. I am all over the place. My friend Aaron last night was explaining that I’m like a backwards triangle I need to flip my focus around. So true.

 God all I want to do is glorify You and I get so caught up in the how that I end up accomplishing nothing. Ugh… I’m so hard-headed and stubborn. In every area of life.  God, work through this messy brain. Focus me on You. On Your will. Root out any desires of mine that do not match up with Your will for my life. I love you.

-Johnna

Hymn, Brooke Fraser -listen here.

Here I am… waiting for God, and learning a great deal about patience.

Isaiah 43:1-4

¹But now thus says the LORD,he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
³For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
⁴Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.

_____________________________________________________

Again- John Foreman <<<Listen to song

Oh Lord, God of our Fathers

This day, let it be known

That you, Lord, are God of the present tense

Oh Lord, Father of history

This day, let it be known

That you, Lord, are present in a human event

I want what HE wants.

Psalm 62:5-8

⁵For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
⁶He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
⁷On God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

⁸Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.

My dear friend and Pastor Kent gave his last sermon at NCC last night and this song pretty much sums up everything he said. The church has been trying to domesticate Jesus and we have failed. We can’t.  His heart is with the downtrodden, the hurting, the lost, and that is where our heart should be too.

“I Repent by Derek Webb”

I repent, I repent of my pursuit of america’s dream
I repent, I repent of living like I deserve anything
Of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife
In our suburb where we’re safe and white
I am wrong and of these things I repent
I repent, I repent of parading my liberty
I repent. I repent of paying for what I get for free
For the way I believe that I am living right
By trading sins for others that are easier to hide
I am wrong and of these things I repent
I repent judging by a law that even I can’t keep
Of wearing righteousness like a disguise
Just to see through the planks in my own eyes
I repent, I repent of trading truth for false unity
I repent, I repent of confusing peace and idolatry
Of caring more of what they think than what I know of what we need
Of domesticating you until you look just like me
I am wrong and of these things I repent